dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
