What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize