Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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