You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
