just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
