i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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