I must be too annoying 4 u.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
