I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
