i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
