also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize
