plz talk dirty to me
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
