I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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