Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize