ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
