I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
