did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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