I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
His nipple licking is glorious
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize