and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize