i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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