..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
