11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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