I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
