C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so let's talk penis.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
