i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
