i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
