i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
