it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
