Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
