How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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