honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
