Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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