mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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