and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Randomize
