how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
