They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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