ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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