Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
