bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
