mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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