Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
