hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
