No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Holy sore nipples Batman
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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