i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
