Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
