My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
