so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Is it because I queefed?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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