i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
