someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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