i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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