No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
