She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
