i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
