its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
