he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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