I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
