Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I need to sanitize my soul.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
