Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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