Barsexuality is the new black.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
