let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
